I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane!!

| Jul 11, 2011 | , , , |
We're down to three sleeps till our big trip to the USA!! YAY!

The kids and I have been blessed with free tickets to go to the USA to be a part of the Brenneman Family reunion to celebrate my sweet grandma's 90th birthday. What a great gift!

It will be so awesome to see family and get a taste of Americana. Always fun. It's been three years since M has been to the US. He's 11 now and was 8 when he was last there. He's grown a bit since then. L is excited to do some shopping and we're all excited about hanging out in the hot weather after the storms and cold in NZ right now.

It's been a crazy month or so for us.....the most exciting part has been the birth of Toby Goertzen, J & S' little guy. I was privileged and blessed to be a part of that exciting day two weeks ago and feel like Toby's part of our little family. It's gonna' be super fun watching him grow up and his parents are doing an awesome job.

Fit 4 Life is growing too. Today was super busy down there. Very exciting for B and I to see. We love watching our dream and vision become reality every day.

Anyway....short update for today, but more to come from the USA....can't wait for Thursday!! :) edit

Celebration

| Jun 16, 2011
Last weekend I had the privilege and fun of hosting a baby shower. It's been awhile since I've hosted one, but this shower was particularly special.

My friend has been experiencing infertility for the last three years. She has a physiological reason for her infertility and the likelihood of her conceiving without medical help was seemingly impossible. For the last three years she has endured not only infertility treatments - drugs, surgery, scans, blood tests and a complete loss of privacy - she has also experienced pregnancy loss four times. My heart has ached for my friend as we've prayed, cried, grieved and walked together. She has invited me into those inner recesses of her heart which I count a privilege. She's taught me so much about compassion and care for those in need or hurting.

So, this shower was super special because miraculously (and there is no other explanation) she conceived last year without medical intervention. This was a hope we'd all had, but in all honesty would never have imagined. So, in three weeks she is expecting her little boy!!! AMAZING!!!!

One thing I've learned in life is that celebration is one of the ways that we can not only enjoy those moments of excitement or joy, but also a way to thank God for His provision in our lives. Whether the event is small or big, celebrating those things along the way helps keep our focus on the One who has above all - good or hard. So....we celebrated this special baby.

My friend, K and I decided that we had to make this the party of the year. S deserves it!!! It was weeks in the planning, invitations were sent out super early so that people could get it into their diaries and K & I worked our little butts off to make sure it was the best party ever.

We went with a colour scheme of blue and green - bright aqua blues and greens. So pretty!! We got my mom to send stuff from the USA, we designed a table layout that would have done Amy Atlas proud (check out her website - so gourmet to quote K), we cooked, we baked, we printed, we gathered, we shopped, we picked green and blue candies out of the bulk bins, we cleaned, we rearranged and had a blast. Here's a couple of pics of what we did.
I made the cake. It turned out so good!
Here's our cool table design!! The jars have candy in them.



Some of the decorations we had.
S had a great time and I know she felt loved and felt that it was so important to celebrate not only this little miracle that God has given her, but also celebrate her perseverance, her heart, her courage, her walk with God, her inspiration and her care she shows others.

So, even if celebration doesn't come naturally to you....celebrate...the small things, the big things, the hard things and the fun things. It's all about "rejoicing in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice"!!! edit

Colour fills my soul!!!

| Jun 2, 2011
One thing I have come to know about myself is that I LOVE colour! Colour just makes my heart feel good and so reflective of the occasion, season or mood....BUT I live in a country that likes colour, but definitely not super bright or in all seasons, so my colour-personality has been tempered somewhat.

About 12 years ago I bought a hot pink outfit. It was a skirt and tailored top. I loved it!! My favourite colour and so expressive of who I was. I wore this outfit (well, the top half) to a student function and soon realised that I was the ONLY person wearing something colourful. The room was full of black, browns and navy. It was winter and it was New Zealand. My hubby later told me that he had very mixed feelings as I really stood out. Being a more retiring type, he didn't enjoy the attention. :) I never really wore that top again or the outfit as I felt self-conscious about being so bright.

A few years later I was in the USA which is the land of colour and bright clothing. I was excited because I knew that I could wear brighter colours and not stand out. One day at work I was wearing a bright aqua top. Another fave colour and top and a co-worker said "that's a bright top" and all my colour phobias came crashing down on me again. Darn!!

Well, in the years since those incidences, I have come to realise that I just love colour and it's ok. As long as I am not TOO out of fashion, then I will always be wearing the brighter pinks, aquas and reds. They make me feel good, they make me feel happy and  make me feel pretty.

I also love colour in my home and I love coordinating colours so that things go together well. Some friends of mine recently introduced me to Amy Atlas. She's an event planner in the US and I just love how she uses colour to show off desserts and to decorate. Here's her website. Go and have a look. It's super fun and kind of inspiring too.

Here's to colour and the joy it brings!!! edit

Friends

| May 19, 2011
With my personality, people are so important to me, but funnily enough friendships were hard for me when I was a kid and teenager. Despite my desire to have close friends and be a good friend, somehow it didn't always work out the way I had hoped.

I had lots of friends, but struggled to find that "bestie". I watched other girls with their best friends and my heart hurt, because I wanted to be like them.

I met my husband when I was 15 and we've been together ever since. He became my "bestie" which is the way it should be in marriage, but because of that I didn't develop close friendships with other girls as much. I also had a super amazing friendship with my mom so I think I thought I was sorted in the friend department.

Now, don't get me wrong, I had lots of people who's friendships I enjoyed....I am really talking about those heart friendships that develop through time and energy being spent in sharing ones' lives together. I didn't have those relationships and moving into parenthood that became even more obvious as I was now at home and didn't have anyone to do anything with other than my mom. I had friends, but they either didn't have kids or the relationships were changing.

Then, God brought a young woman into my life who was 5 or 6 years younger than myself. I learned a lot about being a friend from her. I learned to share my life more openly, to reveal some of my "stuff" and to feel safe. That door opened wider in 2005 when another young woman came into my life...she was a lot younger than me, but for some reason God just melded our hearts and I opened my heart even more. Around the same time, I had a group of uni students I was spending time with and those girls became super precious to me. Even though I was their "leader", I learned so much from them and they made me feel like I finally had "girlfriends". Finally in my late 30's I had girlfriends. I had women that I could feel safe to share my heart with, to reveal more about myself, who loved me for who I was. WOW!!!

Now in my 40's I finally have a really close friend who is my own age....it's only taken me 30 years. HA!!. T is a treasure. She listens to me and let's me ramble and shares her life with me. I love it!!!! I actually feel like I have a sister for the first time in my life. YAY!!

I've learned a lot about friendship - to have friends, you need to be one. To invite confidences you need to confide and be trustworthy. You need to have fun together and have shared experiences and memories. I have learned so much from these wonderful ladies in my life....and from my super amazing mom and I am very thankful!!!! Love all of you - S, P, C, L, K, T and of course, Mom and B!!! edit

On a brighter note.....

| May 13, 2011 | , , |
Reading through my latest posts, one might think that I am just a massive ball of insecurities. I'm not, but lately been thinking about the deeper things of life.

On a brighter, lighter note, I wanted to share a compliment that was given to my hubby and I yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who's expecting their first baby. He was sharing how he's been reading a parenting book (one that we recommended) and how he can see how the principles we applied from that book have worked in our kids. He said he could see how our kids fit into our family and know that they are loved and are important, but not the most important and that's helped them become other-focused and not attention-hogs.

Anyway, it was the best part of my day. Everyone loves a compliment and one about your kids is just wonderful. It's nice to have some affirmation that we're doing ok because a lot of the time I don't always feel like I am doing ok with them. So thanks, J!!! :) edit

Happy Mother's Day....and more

| May 8, 2011
I do love Mother's Day...I loved it as a kid celebrating my mom and now I love it as a mom with two wonderful kids and a hubby who always makes it a special day, but my thinking about Mother's Day has been challenged a bit the last few years as I have journeyed with a friend through infertility.

I have learned how this day can be hurtful and hard for those who long to be mothers, but for some reason that isn't happening for them. The church services are only reminders of what isn't happening or of the pregnancy loss they've experienced. The envy they experience as the moms receive flowers, or asked to stand up and are celebrated. The sermons about how being a mom is the highest calling that God gives a woman.The questions that face them "I lost my baby early, am I a mom?" Not that these things shouldn't be done, but they can all add up to be a hard day. Things I didn't think about before, but now I do. Now, I am much more aware and protective of my friend and her heart as she approaches this day each year.

And I've struggled with my own feelings..sometimes I felt guilty for being a mom, for not appreciating my kids enough, for wanting to celebrate Mother's Day and for wanting to be celebrated as a mom. My friend's never made me feel guilty, but of course, I feel that way anyway as I want to be the best friend I can be. The co-journer's burden can be a heavy one as we want to comfort and care for our suffering friend, but the reality is that there is little comfort we can truly offer other than just being there. It's just hard all around.

Mother's Day is special and moms should be celebrated, but in the midst of celebrating your mom, or being celebrated...don't forget those who long to be moms or have had to conclude that God's plan is different for their lives, occasionally by choice, but usually by default as they struggle with the inability to have children. Yes, God loves mothers and being a mom is a wonderful gift and calling, but we need to be careful that we don't sideline those women who feel a bit less because they have not been able to have a baby.

Thanks, S for all you have taught me through your journey, through your grace and through your friendship!!

Oh...here's a blog ( Can I Walk With You) that might be helpful. The story of one woman's journey through infertility and life...the good, the bad and the just plain hard. I know it helped me a lot! edit

Why oh why!

| May 5, 2011
Do you ever have those days when you just wish you hadn't opened your mouth? I've had two of those days in a row. Not anything major or tragic, but just those moments when I wish I had just stopped before I started. I hate that feeling.

I gave myself the requisite lectures on keeping quiet, waiting to speak, asking before giving advice and just relaxing in decisions people make....somehow though, I know I am going to give myself this lecture again in the future. Darn!!

I want to be the perfect friend that people love to be around so I feel these things keenly. Of course, my head tells me that it isn't possible to be that perfect, but my heart longs for it. It's not about self-esteem necessarily, but more about how much people mean to me. I want to care for them so much that I get over-enthusiastic in my desire to nurture them and help them. Darn!!

So the moral of the story is....listen more, talk less, ask permission and let go.... edit

Mothering.....why do I feel like I just don't make the cut some days!!!

| Mar 31, 2011
I just read a blog that a friend posted a link to on Facebook. Not my typical sort of a blog as it deals with living more naturally or "crunchy" as they call it. The author who writes the blog appears to be very sweet and nice and has more than adequately explained her perspective on life and parenting. Made for interesting reading!!!

I've been sitting here pondering some of the things I read today on "gentle mothering" another "phrase" that is being bandied around these days. In no way did she make an judgmental statements about others, in fact went out of her way to make sure she didn't, but somehow I ended up feeling like I have still failed as a mom. Was I not loving enough, gentle enough, I used the "terrible Babywise" and had a routine in my parenting. Did I not cuddle my kids enough, did I leave them to suffer and the list goes on!! Ugh!!

Someone made a statement in the comments how we as women tend to judge each others' parenting not because we actually don't like what they are doing, but because we want validation that we're doing ok.... I think that's how I feel!!! Even now with older kids, I am feeling like maybe I didn't love them enough because I didn't/don't subscribe to Attachment Parenting, or because we're not a home that is organic or natural in its approach to life or, because I didn't just rely on being "led by God" in my day-to-day parenting, or didn't spend all my time looking for my babies' cues, I just don't measure up.

The blog also shared how she does "grace-laden" parenting. I'm not sure what that means exactly or who the grace was for - the  mom or the kids, but the thing is that even in her saying that, I didn't feel grace. Instead I felt that if I don't do "grace-laden" parenting, I am not being a good mom. Aaarghh.... I had to finally stop reading because I began to feel like more and more of a failure.

As I read through this post, I know that I am just sharing my own issues - my fears and doubts. The reality is that I shouldn't feel judged because no one is really judging me, but I think it is just inevitable when it comes to this whole mothering thing. So, I am going to pick up my fearful little self and just continue doing what I feel is best for my kids whether the parenting books or peoples' blogs say it's ok or not and maybe I've just shared a little grace with all of us moms who are just trying to be the best we can be and love our kids imperfectly. edit

It's fall (officially)

| Mar 16, 2011 | , , , , |
Changed my blog background again in keeping with the season. It's fall or autumn in New Zealand, but it is still warm and gorgeous during the days. We're still in shorts and t-shirts, but the days are definitely getting shorter and we go off of Daylight Saving Time in a couple of weeks.

I can't say I particularly love winter time and sometimes autumn loses it's zing in the anticipation of the cold and rainy days of winter. However, this fall is so stunning that I am just enjoying it. Hard to believe in a couple of months we'll be having fires and snuggling under blankets, wearing jeans and sweaters and socks and shoes. I miss the flip flop days of summer.

Of course, all of this pales in comparison to the chaos the world is in right now. To be honest I am just overwhelmed. For Kiwis the Japan quake has probably tipped most of us over the edge. I know I just don't watch the news right now after being glued to the TV for the couple of weeks after the Christchurch earthquake. New Zealand is still reeling from that one and the impact won't be diminished for many days to come.

I guess this would be the place to share all the profound things I have been learning, but to be honest, I am just treading water emotionally as I hold the waves of sadness, despair and fear at bay. Sometimes the world is just too scary for me and I have to hide away in my corner of it until I can face it again. I am relieved that this is not our final destination, but sometimes the unknown is a little scary too. :(

Meanwhile, I get up get my kids off to school, live my life with my wonderful hubby and enjoy my days down at Fit 4 Life and the company of good friends.

Till next time. edit

Valentines Day was so long ago!!!!

| Feb 23, 2011
I love the new templates that I found courtesy of a friend's blog that have made my blog look so cute and easy to change. I thought I would be all lovey-dovey for Valentines Day and haven't written a thing since. HA!!!

It's been quite the week and a bit.

Bryce and I had a fun Valentines Day and enjoyed hanging out with our kids despite having an emotionally challenging day at work for both of us. The yummy steak dinner seemed to fill in some of those empty spaces. We really enjoy Valentine's Day because it is a great day to just be reminded of what is important in life. For us we also love Valentine's Day because it is the beginning of our love story and life together.

26 years ago on February 16th, Bryce gave me a Valentine's Day card and asked me to be his girlfriend....the rest is history. We never broke up and have been together since that day. Pretty awesome if you ask me!!! :) We've certainly had some dark days in there, but have learned so much about perseverance, patience and cooperation as we've allowed the other person to grow up (in my case), mature (in both our cases) and accept each other's personalities flaws and all. Exciting!!

Well, the week continued and wasn't a great one with some stuff to sort out at work, but we did it and it has been fine. We had a great weekend and were looking forward to this week...then yesterday happened.

This is the historic Christchurch Cathedral - I cried when I saw
this. Unfortunately there were people inside who died.
For those of you who don't live in NZ you might not have heard that the second largest city in NZ, Christchurch had a big earthquake yesterday almost 6 months after the last big earthquake. The last one damaged property, but no loss of life. This one is so different....last count 75 people have died. My heart hurts for that poor city and those poor people. We have a lot of people we know who live there and fortunately they are all safe, but still living in atrocious conditions and in such strain and stress.
An office building that had 200 people in it. It is
unbelievable the destruction that has happened
and the loss of life in just this one building.

We are far away from Christchurch, but because NZ is a small nation, we're all grieving together and glued to our TVs as we see the latest pictures of destruction, of death and most wonderful, rescues!!! Please pray for this city, but pray that this tragedy  is used to reach a nation of people who have kind of forgotten about God!

Like I said....Valentines was so long ago it seems as so much has happened in between.
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Normal Life....and 3 hours alone!!

| Feb 10, 2011
It's a testimony to how hectic life has been over the last two weeks that I haven't written on here. So much as gone on since my dad left.

We had a great last week with Mom, but it was interspersed with getting kids into school, swapping school uniforms, parent/teacher interviews, first days of school and the list goes on. The house looked like a BOMB hit it during the last couple of days of her visit. Just had no time to get it tidy and Mom was packing....all over the house. HA!!

As always...I hate saying goodbye!!! Waaaay too many in my life, but you do get kind of used to it. For the couple of days leading up to Mom leaving I would have a few good cries at night and the day or so after she left. Seems to be the regular pattern. I guess we just feel so sad about all the every day life things we miss about each other. Events, birthdays, holidays and more......

On the flipside of it all, we both agreed that it is good to get back to normal life. Back to our homes, our routines and our lives....we just wish we lived down the street from each other like we used to. I have enjoyed moving back into my bedroom and just having a tidier house because there are less people living here and the kids are in school again. But I always miss my mommy!!!

School has started well for the kids....I was so nervous about my son's new school, but he has done great thus far. His teacher's quite strict, but that's good for him. Laura's awesome as always!!

Not only has school started, but it's back to work, back to after-school activities and learning a new accounting package for HTL. Bryce is also spending more of his time at HTL to raise funds and plan for the future.

Today I had 3 hours in my house ALL by myself....I reckon that hasn't happened since Dec 9th when Laura finished school for the year. It was BLISS!!!! I was able to just relax, do some work and take a very brief nap and my hubby cooked dinner...now that was TRUE BLISS and a rarity. :)

I do wonder how we manage to get it all done and am wondering if I will survive the craziness that my schedule brings sometimes. It's crazy because I invest my life in people, my kids and my ministry so that makes it hard to "cut" things out. Will have to figure that out soon so I don't go nutso this year. edit

Bye, bye, Dad!!

| Jan 30, 2011
Well, the beginning of the farewells have happened. Dad left yesterday after being here in NZ for almost 6 weeks. That's the longest we've spent together since June of 2008.....so wonderful, but you get used to be together as well. We've done lots of goodbyes in my lifetime, but they are always emotional no matter what.

It's been so fun having Dad around - he got to help Laura learn to drive, taught Michael some house maintenance stuff, played games with the family and provided great amusement and just was here. I miss my Dad!!!!

Next round is Mom.....boo hoo!!!!! Won't think about that one today.

Bryce is always reminding me that our home is in heaven and we will have eternity to spend together, but that offers me very little comfort. The only thing that helps is know that we're all serving God and doing what we feel God is having us do despite our personal desires to be together. I hate it though sometimes!!! It just doesn't seem fair that others have their family around them....part of the Third-culture stuff I deal with on a regular basis.

The great news is that I get to see them in just 5 months!!!! YAY!!!!! The Lord continues to provide ways for us to connect even when I feel that it is impossible.

Short, but sweet tonight..... edit

Tragic News for a friend

| Jan 29, 2011
Yesterday my world was rocked when one of my close friends told me that her 15 year old son was diagnosed this past week with a spinal cord tumour. AAAGGH!!!! My heart is breaking for her!!!

I met this friend 16 years ago when we were in the same ante-natal class before our oldest children were born. From that class we formed a coffee group and my friend and I are the remnant. We've been meeting most weeks for the last 16 years for coffee and have become very good friends as a result. We were supposed to start our coffees this week now that school is going back. :(

My friend is a hero in my eyes. She already has so many challenges in her life that she meets with grace and humour. Her second son has Asperger's Syndrome combined with ADHD, her eldest son has ADHD as does her husband. She works part-time, is a wonderful mother to her four boys and now has this incredible burden to bear. I cannot believe it!!! She'd had a pretty difficult year last year and we were both excited that 2011 would be better for her. Oh my gosh!!!!

I know that life is full of challenges so am not sitting there asking "why", but rather the question I am asking myself, is "how can I be the best friend I can be". I just don't know. So hard to know when to "invade", when to stay away, when to push them to talk, when to just be silent. Being the supporter friend is a journey I have walked with a few other friends and it is a hard one to do. Just never know if you're helping or hurting, if you're making mistakes or doing alright.....pray for me!!! More importantly, pray for my friend.....she needs the miracle!!!! Pray that it draws her more closely to God and her husband too!!!! edit

You know 'one of those days'....

| Jan 27, 2011
Today has been a beautiful day....the sun has been hot and gorgeous!! The sky is blue as it could possibly be and no clouds. Fun with kids and then the rest.......

Over the last 22 years of marriage, I have learned a lot about conflict resolution. Not just in my marriage, but with others too. Some of the lessons have resulted in great friendships and some of them I am still waiting to see how it all turns out. 

One thing I have learned though is that family relationships are super complicated and are complex not only for you, but for your spouse as well especially when the conflict involves in-laws. (Since my mom is probably reading this I need to just clarify that Bryce isn't having a conflict with her....just my musings). :)

Conflicts happen all the time in my household because Bryce and I are strong-minded, passionate individuals who don't give ground easily and want the chance to express ourselves fully. We have learned how to manage our conflicts better though over the 26 years we've been together. Thank goodness!!!! 

I know there are lots of married couples who don't really argue or disagree or have conflict, but we do and I am thankful. "Better out than in" is my motto. I am glad we talk through things and then come to resolution before we move on.

There are so many ideas on conflict resolution, but some of my favourites are:
  • Honest Communication - it is so important to be willing to own our feelings, emotions, thoughts and attitudes. Often in our early years both of us would just let things that bothered us slide, but that created resentment and irritation. So much better to say "What you just said hurt my feelings" or "I am feeing really angry about this right now" or "I don't like it when you speak like that to me" or "I am feeling so irritated right now that I just can't talk and need some space". It's concrete, not vague, and allows further discussion to occur. We have found this to be HUGE in our relationship.
  • Fear - I used to be afraid of conflict in our marriage. Afraid that we would divorce, afraid that we weren't good enough as a couple, afraid that we were failing the marriage game, afraid that others would know that we weren't always 100% thrilled with each other. I have learned that that fear was holding us back from actually resolving things or led to dishonest communication. Since I have realised that it's ok to fight (sometimes loudly) as long as you reach a good resolution, apologise and ask for forgiveness for things said and commit again to honest communication and care. Such a relief!!
  • To recognise that often conflict is about things we're passionate about and to not ignore that, but instead explore that. Also, conflict may be an indicater that we're drifting apart a bit and we need to stop and take a breath together and renew our friendship and have some fun. Sometimes life gets too stressful and not very fun and it's easy to take it out on one another. Again honest communication plays a huge part here.
Nothing new I am sure, but some of my thoughts on this touchy subject. Don't be afraid of a good hearty discussion is my thought. Often the best in your relationships come out after you've resolved them and learned about each other whether it's a friend or spouse.

Till next time.
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11 Things at 11am

| Jan 23, 2011
Ok....I am stealing this idea from a friend and it's really not 11am (a bit after), but I thought it would be good to reflect on some things. It's a rainy day and for some reason I often feel inspired (or sleepy) on rainy days. :)

  1. Mom and Dad - my parents have been here for a month and I have to say that it has been one of the best times with them....sure, we argue a bit, have some family domestics, but I also have felt what I have been missing for three years....Mom and Dad living here. That's what I miss most about them living in the US....the day to day stuff, living life together. Very thankful that they could come and visit this summer.
  2. Kids - I have been thinking a lot lately about grasping the last few years of "family" with my kids. With our oldest being 15, it is a reality that she will be away from us more and more from now on. I told Bryce that I am going to be a terrible "empty nester" as I am gonna miss my babies!!!!  This year we're going to try and be way more intentional in spending time with our kiddos and doing things as a family like watching American Idol, or walking on the beach, playing games and all that good family stuff.
  3. I am loving my flower pots this year. We planted them about 6 weeks ago and they are GORGEOUS!!! Just a riot of colour and beauty. I am glad I took the time to do that. Hmmm.....might be a life lesson in there somewhere.
  4. Nephews....yesterday I talked to my cutie-pie nephews who live in another country. They are growing up so fast and it's been 18 months since I have seen them. Can't believe the youngest is nearly 6. So glad we're going to see them this year and be able to watch our youngest play with his cousins. I am very thankful to be an aunt to these two little firecrackers!!!!
  5. I love to read and always have books going. Though I have to say over the last few years I have found it a bit harder to find stuff that I enjoy. I am in a phase where I want pretty light reading (life is busy and I just need a break) and I also enjoy books that are set in a historical time. I have just been reading through a series by Sara Donati called "The Wilderness Series". Set in the late 1790's to early 1800's in post-Revolutionary War America. Pretty interesting reading. Gotta do some research on the War of 1812!
  6. Laundry - why oh why is there so much laundry? I have a laundry room filled with it at the moment waiting to be folded. Laundry being folded is one of Bryce's things that he likes to have done, so I do try and keep up with it, but the post-holiday washing is still all over the place. Gotta get that done today. 
  7. My friend S....she's an inspiration to me to persevere through difficulties in life. I am excited beyond words that she is expecting a baby after a 3 year journey....I feel like this baby is mine too in a weird way because we have been praying for him/her for so long. I will be content to just be "Auntie Christy". 
  8. I have discovered that I really love to blog....who knew!!! I don't think I will ever have a diary that I keep regularly. No idea why that is so hard, but blogging is quite fun. Not really sure if anyone is that interested in my random life, but oh well. I have don't have any great quotes, no profound thoughts....I am just "me". 
  9. Pink - there is never enough pink in this world for me. Pink to me represents hope, life, joy. I love pink...having said that, I do not live in a pink fluffy room or wear pink every day or look like Elle in Legally Blonde. I just love all the fun touches of pink in my life. I think I want to live more "pink" this year. More joy, more hope, more fun, more life!!!!
  10. I am so so excited about my pending trip to the USA in July....God has provided me with something to look forward to. July is going to be an exciting month for me between babies and yummy American-ness. Being an American is funny for me. I call myself American, but the reality is that I am not one inside. I just don't have the shared experiences of college life, football teams, cold Christmases and all that kind of stuff. So going to the US is kind of like going home and kind of like visiting another country for a holiday. Kind of confusing some times. However, I am proud to be an American and thankful that I can be proud to be a Kiwi too. 
  11. My hubby.....you know, it is almost 26 years since we started dating. I am amazed at how God fit us together. I could have so easily not been in NZ and yet, God brought my family here and I met Bryce and now we've made a great life together and our life is rich with meaning and purpose. We might be a bit fiery at times, but in the fire is passion for what we do, for who we are and for being more like Christ. That's an awesome partnership in my opinion!!!!
Well, I made it. It's actually long past 11am now, but I am happy that I could find 11 things to chat about. HA!!!! Thanks, S for the idea!!!!
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A Breath of Fresh Air!

| Jan 22, 2011
We just got back from a week away at one of my most favourite spots in the world - Pauanui on the Coromandel Peninsula in the North Island of NZ. My family has been going there for our summer vacations since 1984 (pre-Bryce, actually the summer I was first "in love" with Bryce).

I had pretty low expectations for the place where we were staying as I knew it was an older apartment, but when I walked in my breath was taken away....the view (we were EXTREMELY lucky to be beach front) was  beyond description, the apartment was spacious and well supplied. I was in heaven!

This was the view from our apartment.
We hadn't had a proper holiday for longer than a few days since Oct 2009 so it was amazing to be away as a family (my parents included) to just rest, go to the beach, swim in the pool (so lucky to have a pool), read, play games, do jigsaw puzzles and eat yummy food. It was a breath of fresh air!!! I finally felt happy about 2011.

It just reminds me that it is so important to take time out of our busy lives to STOP!!! To enjoy God's creation, to spend time with loved ones, to wake up with no agenda apart from doing whatever is fun for you and your family. I felt so refreshed and more ready to tackle the challenges this year offers. I know that God didn't say to rest on the 7th day just because He wanted something cool to say. He said it because he knows the reality of our emotional and physical need to take time out to rest and refresh.

Of course, one day back at home and I was ready for another holiday. Isn't that just the way!? edit

The puddle on the floor......ME!!!

| Jan 10, 2011
Today was emo-meltdown day....I think post-Christmas-itis, too much partying late at night (not really) and just some residual emo-ness from our planning day. My poor mom copped the flak tonight. Yikes!!! Oh well....

Do you have days/nights where life seems just a little terrifying? I am having one of those today....I know I should be all calm and "let God take care of the details", but some days I do wonder if He really does. Today's one of those days. I have no answers to my question....I think I will just not think about it right now. HA!

Feeling the stress of getting ready for our holiday away, the challenge of keeping kids entertained on their Christmas break and cooking for 6 when cooking for 4 is daunting enough.

As Anne of Green Gables said "Tomorrow's another day with no mistakes in it".... Thank goodness for "tomorrows".

Night all... edit

Budgets and more.....

| Jan 9, 2011 | |
New Years are so great for inspiring new beginnings......getting fit, being more responsible, planning and all that fun stuff.

Bryce & I decided to take a day this past week to just figure out our life. We've had a lot on our minds with beginning Fit 4 Life and financing it as well as just dealing with all the day to day stuff. One thing we'd let go was our budget....I could tell that Bryce was feeling the stress.

Let me just tell you....I HATE BUDGET TALK!!! :) But, we did and now I feel good. That's the funny thing about planning. It's easy to dread it and be reluctant and then the relief that comes when you actually set a plan in motion is so great that you wondered why it took you so long. Sure, we're needing to make some minor tweaks along the way and we need to raise some support which is always a bit daunting, but I can tell the relief that Bryce is feeling.

We also took time out to just chat about kids and ideas for the year. With a 15 year old we realise that we only have a few years left with her in our home. Kind of sad and scary and exciting at the same time. Gotta relish these fun family years. Soon it will be three of us and then back to two of us!!!

Another thing we did was write down some dreams that we have for our family and for our ministry. We've forgotten how to dream in the midst of everything we've been through in the last few years. It was good to dream again....just for a minute.

Rambly post....but that's how my brain works sometimes.... edit

January.....hmmmm......to hope or not to hope!

| Jan 7, 2011 | |
I have a love hate relationship with January. When I was younger, January was my favourite time of year. Summer holidays, relaxation, friends, food and fun. New Year's resolutions were exciting and it was kind of cool to set some goals. Now in my 40's and having lived a bit more life, sometimes I am more afraid of New Year's than excited.


I long for renewed hope....the last few years have been so rocky in that department - losing our job, starting a new ministry, journeying with friends as they struggle with infertility, broken relationships and other stresses. Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed and smile. But I am trying to be hopeful of 2011.


Over the last five or so years,  January has also been the month of weird illnesses.....'05 I got German measles (rubella), '06 I came down with strep throat which was horrendous, '07 my thyroid started to stop working and I nearly fainted at our staff conference. '08 I turned over in bed one night and that began a 3 month journey with vertigo. This year I started the new year with an ear infection and cold and just this week my parents, Laura and I were exposed to a bacterial infection that can live in spa pools (dirty ones usually). We've got some sore bite-like bumps on our bodies which is another 'weird' thing.....who gets all this stuf.... ME!!!!


Ok.....enough whining about that....2011 might be a lot better than I am expecting. I am praying for that I tell you!!! Will keep you posted....right now...nap time. HA!!! Did I tell you I love vacation time? edit
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Prosper, Texas, United States
I've been married for 32 years to the love of my life and we have two awesome adult kids and a fantastic son-in-law. Big new adventure moving to Texas from New Zealand in February 2021

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