Mothering.....why do I feel like I just don't make the cut some days!!!
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Mar 31, 2011
I just read a blog that a friend posted a link to on Facebook. Not my typical sort of a blog as it deals with living more naturally or "crunchy" as they call it. The author who writes the blog appears to be very sweet and nice and has more than adequately explained her perspective on life and parenting. Made for interesting reading!!!I've been sitting here pondering some of the things I read today on "gentle mothering" another "phrase" that is being bandied around these days. In no way did she make an judgmental statements about others, in fact went out of her way to make sure she didn't, but somehow I ended up feeling like I have still failed as a mom. Was I not loving enough, gentle enough, I used the "terrible Babywise" and had a routine in my parenting. Did I not cuddle my kids enough, did I leave them to suffer and the list goes on!! Ugh!!
Someone made a statement in the comments how we as women tend to judge each others' parenting not because we actually don't like what they are doing, but because we want validation that we're doing ok.... I think that's how I feel!!! Even now with older kids, I am feeling like maybe I didn't love them enough because I didn't/don't subscribe to Attachment Parenting, or because we're not a home that is organic or natural in its approach to life or, because I didn't just rely on being "led by God" in my day-to-day parenting, or didn't spend all my time looking for my babies' cues, I just don't measure up.
The blog also shared how she does "grace-laden" parenting. I'm not sure what that means exactly or who the grace was for - the mom or the kids, but the thing is that even in her saying that, I didn't feel grace. Instead I felt that if I don't do "grace-laden" parenting, I am not being a good mom. Aaarghh.... I had to finally stop reading because I began to feel like more and more of a failure.
As I read through this post, I know that I am just sharing my own issues - my fears and doubts. The reality is that I shouldn't feel judged because no one is really judging me, but I think it is just inevitable when it comes to this whole mothering thing. So, I am going to pick up my fearful little self and just continue doing what I feel is best for my kids whether the parenting books or peoples' blogs say it's ok or not and maybe I've just shared a little grace with all of us moms who are just trying to be the best we can be and love our kids imperfectly. edit
5 comments:
I know exactly what you mean...I think most parenting trends are reactionary and therefore usually a little over zealous. I'm cut from the same cloth as you.. and think we all do the best we can with the resources and temperament and clues God gives us by his grace. and for the record Your kids look pretty well adjusted to me?
Thanks, Donna!!
Oh, do O empathize with you.....even now that my "kids" are grown men with families of their own, I still wonder when I reaad these articles on parenting - did I do my best?? did I leave my "cleaning" to spend time with them?? did I...??? did I....???and it could go on & on... your kids are very well adjusted and happy kids, who also love the Lord and isn't that the greatest gift we can give the next generation???...you're doing GREAT!!!!
love you christy! look at those kids of yours! you are a great mom.
Thanks, Sas and GMom....appreciate the encouragement HEAPS!!!!
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